How can we attract the joy and relaxation of stable, fulfilling and loving relationships?
Unfortunately, love relationships seem to dissipate faster than ever into divorce or separation. I believe we all deserve to experience healthier, more resilient, relationships. To achieve that we need to look into our belief system and behaviour patterns around love and relationships, and develop the skills to heal our past wounds.
We are all social beings who need connection and love. And how we learn to love and what we meaning we make out of it goes way back to the early experiences that we had with our caretakers. As babies, if we come into this life having an experience of security, safety and caring from our caretakers, we grow up and develop good boundaries, feeling secure, having a basic trust in others and having a strong and integrated sense of identity and self-esteem. When we are raised with a “secure” attachment, we tend to find relationships easier. We expect to be treated well and we, in turn, treat our intimate mates with respect. We trust our partners and others realistically. When our first imprint in life is support and naturally flowing unconditional love, we also learn easily to love ourselves and others.
In most cases, however, we are not lucky enough to have proper support and a healthy environment from the beginning. When this is the case, we find ourselves struggling in our relationships. Unfortunately, our unresolved early attachment disruptions will often run our relationships into the ground before we or our partner even know what hit us. It prevents us from loving, trusting and relaxing fully, or from reaching out for what we desire the most. The patterns leave us in a viscious cycle of feeling anxious and incomplete.
Are body-centred therapies an easy way to heal any attachment disruptions and restore back Secure Attachment?
When disruptions occur in our early years, the patterns get formed very quickly, often in pre-verbal and pre-cognitive developmental stages. In this way, they become wired into our sensory-motor awareness. For example, a child learns to block their kinesthetic and corresponding movement to reach out if she/he experiences a lack of responsiveness to their needs early on. She may need to resurrect this latent or thwarted impulse later in life.
This is why it is so important to include body-based therapies such as somatic touch, somatic experiencing and breathwork, into healing early attachment wounds. Body-oriented therapies will allow us access to the original sensory-motor patterns so that they may eventually arise and come to completion. At this point, we can enter into healthier and more joyful relationships that last. Book in to discover our body-based therapies: